The folks at The Coffee Bump have kindly offered to give away a free Bodum Chambord 4-Cup French Press (valued at $37.99).

To enter to win, just leave a comment here, or on Twitter using the the hashtag #arizonacoffee. Your comment must be a funny joke or story. It can be original, or something you copied from somewhere else. Please keep it clean.

One winner, chosen at random, will be announced on June 25th. When you leave your comment, be sure to include an email address so we can contact you! Offer valid only in the United States. One entry per person. Thanks, and have fun!

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32 comments

  1. To make a long story short, we were working on some new blended coffee recipes and found out that one should not attempt to place a sugar cookie in the blender with the frozen coffee drink… we did not get the desired flavor profile.

  2. John

    How clean? I mean, can I say “What is the difference between light and hard?”

    “You CAN sleep with a light on”

    Or is that too risque?

  3. pj brown

    Husband and wife on a road trip-bickering as they go. Passing a pasture holding a group of jackasses-wife says ‘relatives of yours?’ Husband says- ‘ Yes- inlaws.’

  4. Brian

    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, “This taste funny to you?”

  5. A Pirate walks into a bar, and he has a ship’s wheel attached to his crotch.

    The bartender looks at him and says, “Y’know, you got a ship’s wheel attached to your crotch.”

    The pirate sighs, “Yarr. It’s drivin’ me nuts.”

  6. You might be a Caffeine addict if…

    * You’ve ever carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.

    * You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.

    * Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.

    * You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.

    * Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.

    * You’ve ever used the airplane’s Call button just to get a coffee refill.

    * You can’t remember the last time you blinked.

    * The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.

    * Your dog’s name is Folgers.

    * You see nothing wrong with using water joe (caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.

    * You could live in a desert like a hermit, eating bugs for food, as long as you had enough coffee beans with you.

  7. I will refrain from any coffee jokes, because as anyone in the industry knows, “there’s no clean coffee joke”. With great verbs such as grind, tamp, extract, steam, wet/dry anyone in this industry makes jokes daily without knowing it.

    The other day I was wearing a dress shirt, vest, and tie (professional dress for a barista). Below is the customer interaction
    Customer: “Why are you all dressed up? Have an interview to go to?”
    Me: “No, I do it for my regulars”
    Customer: “That’s what she said”
    :)

  8. Amber

    A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve strings here.”
    So the string walks out of the bar, all mad. He ties himself in a knot, messes up his hair, walks back into the bar and orders a drink.
    The bartender says, “Aren’t you the same string that was just in here?”
    The string says…
    “Nope; I’m a frayed knot.”

  9. While shooting a budget movie out in the middle of the desert between Florence Junction and Superior, we had a generator with us to charge the camera batteries. “Hmmm…” sez I, “120V A/C?” so I packed my espresso kit. the ‘Production office’ was an old abandoned house, with no glass in the windows, dirt floor, and only about two-thirds of the roof. While at lunch one day (craft services was an eighty gallon cooler full of Price Club), two quail hunters approached, and were a bit flabbergasted to find us in their regular hunting hang-out. We explained what we were doing, and tried to convince them that we were happy to share the space, and as interlopers, tried to be hospitable. They seemed a bit tempted when we offered sodas, snax and sandwiches, but were completely floored when I offered, “Espresso? Cappuccino?”

  10. damion a

    I try to avoid hyperbole because I think it is the worst thing in the entire universe.

  11. French people hate me, but coffee drinkers love me. I want that French Press! chronoscoffee@gmail.com or @chronoscoffee on Twitter. (p.s. I’m in AZ too so the cost of shipping is much smaller, wink wink).

  12. that would be great to win something like that, it would give me more of an excuse to get into the finer blends.

  13. Andrea

    What do clouds wear under their shorts?

    Thunderpants!!!

  14. A very beligerent customer in a high end local coffee house took a sip of her coffee, had some words, and gave it back to the Barista to make again. The Barista went into the back and told the boss what happened. The boss asked the Barista what the customer felt was wrong with their primo roast of the day, and the Barista responded, “She says it’s not fit for a sow to drink.” The boss responded by saying, “Okay then, just make her some coffee that is.”

  15. Shelby

    What is the little dog’s favorite soda?
    …. (dramatic pause)
    Pup-si Cola!
    or..
    Where does the boat go when it’s sick?

    The Dock!
    Oh boy those two get me every time…

  16. The other day I went into a hip looking coffee shop in Carbondale, CO to grab an iced americano. Immediately after ordering my drink I was questioned as to why people drink iced americanos in a very rude tone by the brodawg barista. I spent the next 5 minutes waiting for my drink while the barista and another laughed about the man that lives in a Astro van that just asked for a job application. Needless to say, It was an awkward/funny few minutes.

  17. So this one time, at band camp…

  18. I don’t know much about French Press — besides «J’Accuse!»

    I realize semi-obscure puns aren’t funny but that’s as good as I can do!

  19. Nikki

    I attended an Ignite
    event and someone gave
    an awesome preso —>
    I made it my mission to have
    one in my household!

  20. The entries from Twitter:

    #23: @pcfchick (caffeine – allowing people to do stupid things, faster.)

    #24: @wmcraver (today, at work, I broke my coffee carafe and spilled hot coffee all over my hand… Happy Friday!)

    This contest has now closed. And I’m going to randomly select a winner using a random number selector.

  21. Using the Random Number Picker, our winner is #10 which is Psyd.

    Congratulations, Psyd! I’ll be contacting you by email to get your mailing address.

    Thanks everybody for playing!

  22. Psyd

    “You love me! You really love me!”

    I’m watching the mailbox, and the dogs are starting to give me weird looks. “Uhm, bark… like, that’s our gig, dude!” Well, the girls not so much, but the boy…
    I plan on having my own lil jam shortly. Two group vs Mypressi vs French Press vs Gaggia lever vs Aeropress.

  23. Psyd

    OK, tried it, loved it, lost the knack. If any of y’all have any hardcore FP experiences, especially with this one, chime in on the Forum, wouldja?

  24. Matt

    Looks great

  25. cpns72

    I tried french press first time at French restaurant and already got hooked to french press. Very good tasty coffee. Yummy

  26. Ever since I have tried French Press, I am HOOKED!!! :)

    This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, “Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?” Her grandson said, “Grandma, it says on TV ‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'”

  27. Jason Simmonds

    …… and so i says to the guy- “Hey that’s not your cat! That’s my neighbors mustache!!!!!!!!”

  28. Annette

    My mom used to tie dental floss to our life savers in case we started choking.

  29. Helen

    I used to go skinny dipping…. Now I go chunky dunking.