Taking a cue from The Copywriter Underground, which had a post about the sentences every copywriter hates to hear, I thought it would be fun to hear the simple sentences you hate to hear from customers.

Please add your own in the comments.

Arizona Coffee

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  1. “I’d like a large vanilla cappuccino to go”.

  2. Mike

    “May I have a Large Classic Latte with Chocolate!”

  3. arianne

    “Can I have a venti double caramel macchiato, extra caramel, extra whippy” can I slit my wrists now!

  4. Todd

    ‘Can you point me to the nearest Starbucks?’

  5. “Can I have a decaf non fat no foam latte.”

    We like to call this one the Why Bother?…

  6. “I’d like a macchiato please.”

    -deliver a macchiato-

    “What’s this? I wanted a macchiato.”

  7. Brian

    …I can still taste the coffee…

  8. mikeftrevino

    “What’s good?” with the implication that our other drinks are nasty.

    “My regular, please.” When I’ve maybe seen them once.

    “I want a Tall Mocha.” when what they really want is a large mocha.

    “What do you guys have here?” as they are looking at the menu.

    My fave never happened to me. It happened to Martha. The customer walks up to the register looks Martha in the eyes and asks, “What do I want?”

  9. While sitting in a non-bucks coffee shop, overheard another customer order:
    “Gimme a Venti Caramel Frappaccino, please.”

  10. This drink is so good you can hardly taste the coffee!

    Heard it in the forums, but I have experienced it.

  11. Austin

    I was just thinking of this the other day.

    Large chocolate cappuccino gets me every time.

    My favorite is the person who comes in every couple of days and doesn’t tip and says “I’m your best customer!”

    while certainly a valued asset to the company, the best customer is one who tips generously

  12. cate

    “Hi, I’d like a no foam cappucino”…

    stirred caramel macchiato…

    “give me a strong drink…would you like an extra shot? oh, no, one shot will do…”

    how ’bout…”sugar-free, non-fat…oh and can I have extra whip?”

    “I’d like a chocolate mocha”

    Finally, we tell folks a frappucino is the “f-word”!

  13. Austin

    Oh I forgot about the one i heard a few weeks back.

    “Man, I wish this town had a Starbucks.”

    (they hadn’t been in before, but have come back since)

  14. Jess

    5 minutes before closing and I’ve already started cleaning: “Can I get a Granita?” Or a milkshake…

    “I’d like a 16 oz. double latte with 2% and foam.” Don’t know about you but here our 16 oz lattes come with 2 shots, 2% and foam.

    “I’d like an iced latte without ice”. You’d be surprised how often I get that.

    “How much am I suppose to tip?”

    “Can I get a dry soy cappuccino?” If soy foam is a breeze for you, let me in:).

    “I’d like an Americano, extra hot.” Just waiting for a lawsuit…

    I’m SURE I have more:).

  15. mikeftrevino

    Yeah I’ve gotten a few like that jess.

    “I’d like a hot latte but instead of hot can I have that cold? Can you do that?”

    Soy frothing really depends on the brand and batch of soy. I have had lots of great froth made with Kirkland vanilla Soy. (costco) I can make decent latte art with it, and can surely make cappuccinos with it. I’ve had luck with other brands but they can be spotty. I think one batch of soy can be different than another.

  16. O

    Back when I was a barrista in school, the one that always got to me, without fail:

    “Can I have a nonfat mocha with whipped cream?”

    And this was coming from supposedly educated people.

  17. K

    I am not a barista, so I can’t say much about this, but yesterday I was in line and a lady in front of me said, “Can I have a dry soy cappuchino on ice?”… I had to leave the building for a bit before I offended anyone with my annoying laugh.
    But the whole “Nonfat Mocha with whip” is just cutting the amount of fat they’re drinking in half, if that makes sense. A non-fat mocha with whip has less fat than a mocha with whip.